Upham's Corner Online

New Years Resolution:  "I Promise to Promote my Strengths and what I love Doing!!"

Happy New Year

Life Coaching Series    For the new year,  plan to promote your strengths and your assets.  “What am I good at? What do I love doing? How can I make sure I thank myself and continue to shine in what I do?” Resolve to improve even more what you are good at, what you love doing.  Our strengths bring us joy and the energy to improve our lives.  Focus on the good and what you call your failures will fade away.

It's a New Year.  Who am I?

Except for circumstances beyond our control, the choices we make and the actions we take reflect our real priorities. They reflect the real ME. If, for example, I habitually arrive late, it is because I am choosing to do so. 

Actions that lead us to arrive late (we have to conclude) are more important than actions that would get us there on time.  Another example is the whole issue of exercise which is always promised and rarely delivered. 

These examples and their outcomes are not intrinsically bad yet there are consequences.  One is having to listen to (often internal) voices tell us “stories” about why our choices are poor and why we are failures.  Incessant criticism from such megaphones leads to a poor sense of self.  A low self-image leads to even more problems and the situation is compounded, always in the wrong direction.  So we yearn to “fix” our problems, to make the voices and the criticism, go away. 
  • Whatever we are not doing enough of, let’s resolve to do more of. 
  • Whatever we are not doing but should be doing, let’s resolve to start doing. 
Along comes a new year and with it the opportunity to make New Years Resolutions.  What pops up for consideration is always our problems because they "need to be fixed."  Whatever we are having trouble with (our weaknesses) - that is the obvious choice for a New Years Resolution.
  • “I promise to always arrive on time.” (It will never happen.) 
  • “I promise to go to the gym and exercise three times a week.” (I hate exercising.)
Even worse than never having made a resolution is to then break the resolution.  More fodder for guilt.  “I am a big failure.”

Focus on your Strengths

Step back a minute and realize that failures are not real.  You can’t walk down the street and see a failure.  It’s all made up. Failures are judgments based on the simple comparison of an event against a standard.  Either you make the mark or you don’t.  While most outcomes lie somewhere within the “fifty shades of gray,” outcomes that you call a “failure”are actually important only if they are critical failures.  All others, relatively speaking, are  irrelevant. 

To make meaningful resolutions, look at your strengths.  What do I like doing?  How can I build on what is already a joy in my life?

How do I feel about the actions I take to prepare for attending an event? 
  • I am feeling joyful.  I love what I am doing.  Then thank yourself, go to the event and jump for joy even if you arrive late.
  • I am not happy, and I really dread going to this event.  Again, love yourself.  Do not go to the event.  Period. No matter what.

If I take pride in making sure that all critical items on my desk are complete before I leave for the day (and this causes me to arrive late to evening activities), promote that strength in your New Years Resolution but expand upon it as well.  Grow and improve your strength.  Find a way to maintain your standards that also gives you free time.  By not “fighting” with your standards, by supporting them but also finding other new and improved methods for accomplishing them, you will feel really good about yourself.

Yes, there can be psychological (so-called) reasons for always being late.  Not to worry. Focusing on the positive, celebrating the good, we will continue to polish our “shine.” What has fallen behind will suddenly want to catch up, with no yelling, admonishing, criticizing or retribution required.
  • What am I good at? What do I love doing?
  • How can I make sure I thank myself and continue to shine in what I do? 

New Years Resolution:  "I promise to promote my strengths and what I love doing!!"


Your comments will be posted here and in the Letters to the Editor after processing.

Posted: January 9, 2013     Nancy J Conrad

| Copyright © 2010-2018 Uphams Corner News - All Rights Reserved |